I want a canoe.
Here I am, living within a few miles of False Creek, the Fraser River and the Ocean fer cryin' out loud...and I don't even own a boat.
Spotted a canoe club on Craigslist that looks like it might be fun.
I am adjusting to "single" life. L and I aren't even "legally separated" yet. Of course, there is no such state as "legal separation" in BC, but you can and ought to have a separation agreement. Terms of this agreement include payment of child/spousal support and separation of residences and finances.
That last would be the snag in the process. L cannot afford to live the life we're living without access to 100% of my income, apparently. Of course the "we" is her and the kids. She just can't do the separate bank account thing until she's got her Financial Independence. That comes with the Good Job she'll be getting in the future to replace the "hobby" job she has at the moment with BC lotto. Unfortunately, this hypothetical future keeps getting pushed further and further ahead. The course she has to have next won't be open until next January! Then there will be another course and then...well, you get the idea. The course she's already taken in medical terminology (and did very well at) by itself is apparently not enough to get the Good Job, or at least, not a Good Job that she's interested in.
I remind myself that she supported my unemployed ass for 3 months when we were first married. This meant that after the honeymoon, I endured constant nagging until I got a job - "ANY job!!!"
Well, 14 years later, and I'm still at that same job. I actually interviewed for HBC in Dec. '93, shortly after our return from Florida, but the new DC wasn't open for business until Feb. '94.
Now, she declared us "un-married" on or about Nov. 20 of last year. This means that I have been subsidizing her under-employed ass for about the last six months. Shortly after she dropped the "D-bomb" I proposed a separation agreement regarding our finances: we take our 3000$ net combined monthly income and divide it down the middle. This meant me giving her about 900$ per month in child and "other" support. Bills would be divided in half.
Sounds fair, doesn't it?
L didn't go for it. So...here we are still married - "on paper" - and she's dating Roger. I'm kinda wondering when she'll be moving in with Roger - or when Roger will be moving in here...
Speaking of subsidies...80 cents of every dollar she spends was earned by me. I have no problem subsidizing her education...but it REALLY chaps my hide to be susidizing her social life. I kinda wish she'd grow up and pay for her dates with her OWN money.
I suspect adultery...which is not illegal in BC, and has no bearing on the separation/divorce process. Might bear some consideration in a custody hearing; should there be one in the future.
I need some legal advice. Soon.