But wait! There's more!
The Great Caravan Adventure: The final ignominy.
Well, it runs. It runs very well, actually...
There's coolant leaking into one (or more) of the cylinders; causing lots of white smoke/bubbles in the coolant/coolant in the oil, etc. The leak isn't bad enough to either drag on or hydraulic the engine...but it is bad enough that the van will never pass aircare the way it is now.
I give up. In the meantime, I'll switch to the Cavalier. Now that the Van is at least mobile, I can move it to the end of the driveway and bring the Cav back to where I can drop out the steering rack. At least the Cav runs...
I'm going to try flushing the coolant system thoroughly and then treating the engine with Blue Devil. If that doesn't work...I'll see what I can get for it as salvage.